Our morning in Austria had already been mildly bewildering. Our German-speaking hostess had barged into the bathroom on my friend, stripped, and got into the shower with no thought or care of privacy. Only muttered words of worry over being late. So after a quiet breakfast, thanks to our poor German skills, she gave us a tour of her beautiful garden.
Now for her, the garden was a fenced-in yard filled with flowers of every kind. Of course, we didn’t recognize most of the names as she rattled them off in German, but we stopped on the cement sidewalk in a small section to enjoy the view of being surrounded by the evidence of her green thumb. It took 3 of us listening and debating the translation of each of her phrases to understand what she said, even as she slowed the pace down for us and nodded as we repeated her words to her.
We stood in her garden for a while, listening to her animated stories, when I felt something bite my upper thigh. Ouch. I swiped at the spot assuming my skirt had snagged my leg briefly. Then I felt another bite.
And then I knew. Ants. And lots of them. Up my skirt. Snacking on my backside.
Our hostess was still talking ever so sweetly, so I tried to excuse myself politely as I ran and danced inside.
What would you do? Stand outside and shuck off the offending layer? Or go inside and spread ants in her house?
I chose the inside option, unfortunately. If there is anything that will leave you insecure for the rest of the day, it’s shaking your skirt out four times, putting it back on, and feeling more movement. I think I found a three surviving ants later in the day, but none of them were past my knees. Thank goodness.
Happy travels! May you never find fire ants in your skirt.
Here’s an popular inspirational kids’ video to brighten your day about Ants In Your Pants.
